What I have learned/always realized about the Brock Turner case.

No photo on this post. This monster does not deserve to have his face plastered on my blog.

Though this is a beauty/lifestyle blog and I try to write on the lighthearted side, once in a while I discuss controversial events: like comedian Nicole Arbour's video about mocking fat people or a couple who calls off their wedding the weekend before. I swear I keep it to a minimum though because real life is tough, and blogging is a way to escape, just have fun, and connect with others.

But my heart is heavy right now. In the U.S., the story about ex-Stanford University student/swimmer, Brock Turner, is unfolding right before our eyes: he raped an unconscious woman last year after coming from a frat party behind a dumpster. He takes off her clothes, sticks his fingers and other objects in her privates, and forces himself on top of her. To make matters worse? His dad says that Brock's punishment is too harsh for "20 minutes of action".

I've been following this story for the past few days, and it is hard to read. Many people want to deny that rape culture exists, but it is definitely there. And if we keep ignoring it, women will always be silenced and afraid to report it because the burdens and the blames are always placed on them. Rape scenes in movies get me super squeamish and I hate them so much (that was the one thing that disturbed me about The Revenant, not the gory, bloody violence), so it really hurts me to know that this is real life for girls and women everyday. 1 in 5 women will get assaulted in their college campuses. I am so thankful that I have not been, but there was a time where it almost happened (I prefer not to talk about that though). This is the type of stuff that made my dad so protective over me.

Here are some lessons that enforced what I already knew about rape culture and objectification of women:

1. You may think that because you're rich, "educated", athletic with huge aspirations that you can get away with murder, especially when you hire an attorney to defend your case and your judge was a former athlete from Stanford as well. But most people, whom I believe have morals, have ABSOLUTELY zero tolerance for your heinous acts. And you know what's even sadder? This fool is sentenced to jail for ONLY 3 months, when there are people are are sentenced for much longer and harsher (ex: people who have possession of marijuana, especially those who need it for medicinal reasons).

2. You don't have to "look" like a rapist to actually be one...I know that people are distrusting of those who looked older, more homely, or those who are an ethnic minority. I would be lying if I said that racism is no longer an issue in the US: if the attacker was a person of color, you bet your ass that the punishment would be a lot stricter. Remember Ted Bundy, the charming, good-looking, intelligent, All-American guy? Remember how he was capable of murdering 30+ women, and had really detailed strategic and plans for it? Remember how he performed necrophilia on some of those bodies?

3. There is a difference between having a drunken one night stand, where both parties are still conscious vs. someone being completely blacked out and the other party takes advantage of them. At that point, the victim cannot consent. That was the state the victim was in, whereas Brock still consciously assaulted her. And he is not sorry that he did it. He's sorry that he got caught.

4. Party culture on campus is not to blame for raping someone. Even though I wasn't a part of the Greek life or go to parties every weekend, I understand that college is a time of having fun with your friends and drinking. Drinking is fun, especially when you're the "happy drunk" type like I am. Everyone expects to drink at the typical college party, but no one expects to be assaulted. One should not be speaking out against party culture (which is what Brock is blaming his actions on), but about consent and learning to respect one's body.

5. Even though most people are on the victim's side, there are still some comments on Facebook, news websites, etc. that break my heart. Why was she walking back home intoxicated? What was she wearing? No matter how intoxicated she is, how much or how little she was wearing, etc. the last thing she would want is for someone to violate her body.

6. I still have a hard time believing that rape isn't about sexual desire but solely about power. It does make sense to me when they both go hand in hand: the mindset of, I want you, and I am going to get you, no matter what you say or how much you beg, plead or cry. You know you want it anyway, right?

7. Money can bail you out of a harsher punishment, but it can't buy you morals.

I want to raise my son (if I have one) to respect women and to just be a decent human being. Screw the "boys will be boys" mindset. I want him to know that women are to be seen as individuals and not as objects that can be used and thrown around like garbage. And vice versa (I understand that women rape too, but not as much as the former). I can only hope and pray that he will grow up to have integrity and respect for others besides himself.

10 comments :

  1. "And he is not sorry that he did it. He's sorry that he got caught." YES. It's disgusting to me, this world we live in. Rape IS about power-- you're exactly right. But the boundaries need to be crystal clear. My body, you don't touch. Where have our morals gone as a society..?? especially with SOB's like this getting off scotch free, and his disgusting father defending him, with a corrupt judge enabling it all? Disgusting. Time for us to raise some REAL men to change the future. Thanks for sharing. Completely agree with you! xX

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    1. Yes, and everyone knows that the judge is defending him because he too was a Stanford athlete! It's also so so disgusting how athletes are highly regarded in this society, especially if you can pay your way through anything!

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  2. Hon, I can't even start voicing my opinion about this story. It's a mixture of a lot of rage and disgust. Every human being, despite the background, race, gender and any other differences, doesn't deserve to fall victim to such monsters. This morning I read the news about lovely Christina being shot while giving out autographs. Then while writing my recent post about Norway and mentioning the lovely lakes where my hubby used to do his hockey practice when he was a kid, I was looking up the name for the area and came across an awful story about two teens raping and killing two little girls aged 8 and 10 there. And there are so many more horrible stories like that...
    Why can't people just live in peace with each other? As much as I am pro-justice, I do feel like such monsters do not deserve to "serve" whatever term they got. The best punishment they deserve is being sent out to the polar bears into the Arctic Circle to survive, not "serving" in a comfortable prison with free food and lots of time to chill. I know some countries have terrible methods of punishing people. If you steal, you get your arm cut off. If you kill, you get killed. Harsh but it stops people from doing it. I have probably gone off topic quite a lot in this comment, sorry about that babe, but I think you get what I am saying.
    As for this particular case, all I can say is 50 years in the most strict and horrendous prison wouldn't be enough for him.
    xox Nadia
    www.mielandmint.com

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    1. I've heard about the Christina story. Cecilio works in a news station (he's the web producer) so he always gets notifications on his phone in case he needs it for his work to write a story, video, or Facebook blurb. Her shooting took place in Orlando, and it's heartbreaking because within 24 hours there was that shooting rampage of 50 people dying (and 50 injured) at that gay club that ALSO took place in Orlando. It just makes me so sad...I can't even describe it, the hate and violence in this world...and the US is a hotbed for guns because there are lots of people here who are obsessed with guns and they are terrified that the government is going to take it away, when they actually NEED to enforce stricter gun laws so that the mortality rate will decrease. It's so easy to just take multiple peoples' lives within a few yards.
      Yes and as for Brock, the only thing just as bad are the people, and the women (his mom, friend from a band, ex-girlfriend) are defending him. It's so scary that we may know people who are capable of doing stuff like this.

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  3. I've been following this since it came out and it makes me sick. His dad's words, his attitude like saying he's a swimmer so they shouldn't be too harsh to him, or people saying it would affect him mentally, but how about the girl got raped?
    People seem to think that if you're graduated from the top universities and have money, then nothing can really affect you and eventually they find a way of getting out of it. Maybe they even offered that girl some money to shut her up, who knows right?
    Women are not sex objects and it doesn't matter what they wear or what time it's, since men can hang out without worrying about anything then women should be able to do it too!

    Ela BellaWorld

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    1. It sucks because here in the US you can buy your way out of punishment. If this was a middle or lower class person who committed this crime, there is no way you can get away with being sentenced for only 3 months. I read her letter too, and she was totally correct when she said that the way it has affected him was external: getting kicked out of Stanford, not being able to swim for the Olympics, registering as a sex offender, whereas she has to cope with it mentally and emotionally for the rest of her life.

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  4. I'm so happy to see you talking about this, it's a horrible subject but the Brock Turner case is disgusting and there's so much to learn from this instance. The victim's letter to him made me sob. What's even more horrific is that Brock is spending more time in jail than an estimated 97% of rapists.

    www.beautyfromkatie.blogspot.com

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    1. I read the letter too, and it was so heartbreaking. I'm just thankful she spoke out about it not only for herself but for all the other women who feel like they don't have a voice.

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  5. Having studied Criminology at university, I've read about several cases like that. It's shocking that in this day and age, the attitudes towards rape can still be so skewed. I remember one British politician stated that raping a woman is like 'force feeding her chocolate'. I mean... Yeah. I also studied a case where a 13 year old girl got raped and the judge gave the asshole a reduced sentence because the girl was 'no little angel' (his direct quote, implying that she somehow teased the guy or something). It's disgusting but as much as I think that the public attitudes towards rape are still a little messed up, they have been improving and I believe that they will continue to improve. Did you know that rape in marriage was only made illegal in 1992? So yeah, I think we've come a long way since then. Very thought-provoking post! x

    Kay
    http://shoesandglitter.com/

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    1. I hate the idea that just because you're acting a certain way at a party or dressing a certain way that you are tempting guys, when in actuality you are just trying to have fun with your girlfriends! What 13 year old would want to have anything to do with an older guy? And yes, it's horrible that people still think that you can't rape if you're married :( I'm just so so thankful that I have found someone who loves, cherishes and respects my body, mind and soul

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